Once Upon a Time – Chap. 39.1


Wymer, you had a very simple task, one which I felt certain even you would be capable of completing.” Serena paused with a heavy sigh as if even starting her reprimand caused headache. “You were supposed to follow that zombie back to the magician girl, make sure he killed her, and come back with him and the stone puzzle she stole from us.”

Wymer munched thoughtfully on a scone he pulled from a small blue handkerchief, the only thing he’d actually brought back with him at all. “Technically, that’s three things.”

And yet,” Serena stamped her foot while balling both fists into tight knots, “you tell me Seth did nothing but make a new friend on the way, that little vixen remains unharmed, and the Kingdom of Fools still has my medallion!”

Another thoughtful munch preceded Wymer’s nod. “That’s pretty much the long and the short of it.”

An aggravated wail from Serena bellowed out of the small parlor they stood in, echoing throughout the Keepers’ castle. Her fellow future ruler of the world, Kirkaronus, yawned at the sad display and leaned against a window. “I say we chain his hands together and throw him in the dungeon or over the ledge here.” He shrugged. “Though granted, the window would be a far more permanent punishment from this high up.”

The mere suggestion of either made Wymer nearly choke on his next bite of scone. “But, but I did follow Seth all the way to their castle just like you told me too! I never saw your medallion but a bunch of vampires surrounded me the whole time I was there, how could I make off with it even if I had? And neither me nor Seth knew the girl had become one of those fangy monsters until we laid eyes on her.” He pointed a finger at Serena. “Which the queenie vampire only did to save her from that stupid spell of yours!” The henchman lowered his finger with a gulp as Serena’s face became an even darker shade of red. “I mean, not that it was that stupid of a spell. It just sort of makes my failure partially your fault.”

That queenie vampire is Gwendoloena and she is a traitor to the Keepers who ruled these lands centuries ago.” Serena stomped over to stand just inches from him. “She was one of the culprits to my ancestors losing their rightful dominion and her petty kingdom of do gooder monsters is the main obstacle to us reclaiming it!”

She’s also a really good cook.” Wymer glanced down at the last two scones. “That Deigen fellow who escorted me out gave me these to eat on the way back. He said the queen baked them that morning.” He held his handkerchief up to her. “Look, they even have little pieces of cranberry in them.”

Serena said nothing this time but snatched the scones and tossed them over her head. Behind her, Kirkaronus grabbed both in midair gave them a brief inspection before munching down on one himself. He nodded with approval over his enemy’s baking skills before speaking with a half full mouth. “At least the Kingdom of Fools is truly the only obstacle we have left. That last village myself and our handful of actual competent minions paid visit to provided thirty or so new loyal servants for our side.”

A village which you needlessly demolished.” Serena made a lurching turn toward him. “When we rule the world, everything in these empty villages will be ours which means you destroyed our property.”

Kirkaronus shrugged. “I told you, there was an ogre there. He started attacking us before we even had the villagers rounded up. Half the damage made was his own doing, the other half was from us trying to keep our heads on our shoulders.” He chomped on another bite of scone. “I would have likely lost my own precious noggin if I hadn’t charmed him to sleep in time.”

Oh yes, that truly would have been a tragedy.” Serena shook her head while rolling eyes to the ceiling. “And you’re certain only the ogre remains there? All the other villagers are accounted for.”

Another shrug, another munch. “So what if we left maybe one or two behind? We have more than enough villagers now to launch our attack on Gwendoloena’s castle.”

A castle which she only allows to be seen by those she chooses.” Serena crossed her arms. “And we have yet to figure out a way around that defense. How do you propose we attack something we can’t see?”

It’s in that sandbox of a desert, can’t be too hard to find.” Kirkaronus nodded toward the pudgy henchman behind her. “Wymer’s been there and back, I’m sure he remembers where it was.”

Wymer pouted more than when Serena took his scones. “No, actually I don’t. I just remember there was nothing but sand and mountains and then suddenly a castle appeared in front of us.”

Good job,” Kirkaronus cheered dryly. “At any rate, I’m sure we’ll be able to get their attention enough to receive some sort of hello in return.” He held up the last remaining pastry in his hand as if it were a prized jewel. “Almost a pity that our visit won’t be on better terms, I’d almost like to ask her for the recipe. These truly are remarkable.”

Though Wymer seemed safe from being tossed out the window for now, Serena immediately ensured a cranberry scone fell to its death.


1 Comment

Filed under Once Upon a Time

One response to “Once Upon a Time – Chap. 39.1

  1. Anything for a hello, eh? And I love the image of the pastry being a prized jewel. Nicely done!

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